EMPATHY

Empathy - What a great value!  Seeing the world through someone else's eyes so that you can understand their situation and what they are going through.  One of the purposes we are serving this "mini-mission" trip to Tonga is to teach our children and ourselves a little more empathy.  I think when you immerse yourself into their culture, live like them, live with them, and understand why they are who they are, you can better show empathy.  I love how the scriptures teach us that when you lose yourself in the service of others, you actually find yourself.  That is so true.  You find out exactly who you are and what is most important when you forget yourself and go to work helping others.  You realize that you have more blessings to be grateful for than what most people have.
     Why do we practice empathy?  It can help us forget ourselves and focus on serving others.  There are a number of factors where empathy and the practice of it will help us.  You lose interest in yourself and take interest in the well being of others.  It helps to reduce prejudice and racism.  Empathy is good for your marriage.  Understanding your spouse's feelings deepens your relationship. Empathy promotes heroic acts, it fights inequality, it's good for the office, and it's good for health care.
      When a Doctor can show empathy for a patient and show understanding of their situation, the trust is built, the anxiety goes down, and the treatment is able to be given.  I love the quote from Steven R. Covey that says, "Seek first to understand, then be understood."  When we take the time in any situation to try to understand first rather than having others understand us, things get resolved faster.  All too often people are only concerned about themselves and say, "well, they just don't understand."  If that's the attitude, it needs to be adjusted.  What we need to ask ourselves is, "what do I need to understand?"  Then, after you've done your due diligence, you've taken the "high road", you will be the one that is understood.
Personal Experience -
     October 2007 – “A Bridge and Steak"

     When we first started the practice, we were in an Endodontic office and we were renting space there for a year while our office was being built.  I remember one of our first patients that came in.  He was a retired helicopter pilot that flew in World War 2 and had all sorts of amazing experiences.  He came into the office having pain on the upper left side.  We made some radiographs and I saw that there were two teeth that were unrestorable and some abcessing that was happening.  I told him that the teeth were going to have to come out.  You would think that I cut off his right hand.  He told me that all he wants is to be able to eat steak.  I took some time to listen to him and tried as best as I could to show empathy.  He said that was his good chewing side.  We talked about what it was that he "wanted".   I gave him the option of extracting those teeth and doing a bridge to restore function.  He committed to the treatment and we did it for him.  We had taken time to listen to him and what his wants and desires were.  When we seated the final bridge, we had bought two huge, juicy STEAKS for him.  You would think that we gave his right hand back to him along with another right hand.  Ha, ha.  He started to tear up and said that no one had ever done something that nice for him.  Here was a seventy-five year old man that was tough as nails breaking down in our dental chair full of gratitude.  It was a humbling experience.  He was SO grateful for what we did.  Later that night when I called to check up on him, he said he was cooking up the steaks and was so excited to be eating them.  What a simple gift, but what a huge blessing for him.  It’s wonderful to have brightened his day.  When we show empathy, listen, and make it about "them", wonderful miracles can happen.